10 Things I did NOT do Today:
Check my bank account (too scared)
Check my mailbox (too sober)
Check my voicemail (too stupid)
Pick up my dog
Pick up my dry cleaning
Pick up my medication
Use my blow dryer
Use my vibrator
Use my sausage as a dildo *
* Fortunately the night is still young.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Word
I really hope you decided on the vibrator over sausage!
It’s probably best not to use sausage as a dildo when your dog IS home, so. There’s always that.
http://thisisnthappiness.com/post/14848806383/calvin-and-hobbes
*snicker* voice mail… haha I just amuse myself with the one who will leave four or five in a row and each one getting more angry because they can’t figure out that obviously my phone is not on.
I laugh. Seriously when this happens.